Never Winning an Argument
In my younger days, as a toddler Christian (a stage that lasted for decades I am afraid) I would argue with God. Maybe it is just part of my argumentative nature.
I would argue with him about a great many issues. Living in the Midwest requires a lot of driving. The nearest Walmart is 79 miles from my house. I had a lot of time alone in the car to talk out loud to God. And talk I did.
One of my biggest arguments was my excuse for being sinful. I felt then, and sometimes still do, that I can top most people in the amount of sin I have had in my life. Not that this is a good thing, or some kind of contest. I am just saying that many times I did not live the life I knew I should be.
I didn't want to take the blame for that, so as God is pointing these things out to me, I feel MAD at him (maybe that is due to guilt, huh?) So I childishly point out that when he points the finger at me, three are pointing back at him. So nanny nanny boo boo.
Seriously, I would question Him. If He wanted me to be a better person, why did He create me to be such a bad un?. Why did He allow all the temptations to come my way? Why didn't He make me stronger to resist it? Why did He put me in the circumstances of my life that I hated, because if I had been living my ideal life it wouldn't be so hard to resist sin.
Here is an important thing. I talked to God. I talked, and talked and talked for hours. You know what was missing from that conversation? LISTENING.
Sometimes in prayer, you need to be quiet. The problem was, I didn't want to hear His words. I wanted a way to justify my actions.
My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5
I was not seeking wisdom. I was spending time talking AT God, but I was not regularly attending services, I was not reading scripture, and most of the time when I prayed it was in the car talking AT God.
He was patient. He slowly pointed out these things to me, when He could squeeze a word in. But I had excuses. None of the churches in town were a good fit for me. I was too rushed in the morning and too tired at night to read a boring old Book. He was such a patient Father, to such a naughty and mouthy child.
So what changed? My method of prayer for one thing. I began to stop looking for excuses and look for real understanding.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Spiritual growth can be a slow process, I did not move from the toddler stage to the pre-schooler stage quickly. I began regular church attendance and I have a home church in each of the towns I live in during the year. My favorite is Dunbar First Church of God, but I love Pastor Grupp in ND also.
I spend a LOT more time in prayer, and a large portion of that is praying for others.
Reading Scripture.....I will be honest. I am lacking here. I am not a morning person. Oh, do you hear those excuses rolling out?
So am I a better sin free perfect person? (Pause here, while we all have a good loud laugh) Absolutely not. ABSOLUTELY NOT. As a pre-schooler in Christ, I am learning that the Holy Spirit can prompt you as you enter those danger zones. That part of growth is learning to hear the Holy Spirit. And heed Him.
My good friends, I pray for you and hope you will pray for me during this journey we share.
I would argue with him about a great many issues. Living in the Midwest requires a lot of driving. The nearest Walmart is 79 miles from my house. I had a lot of time alone in the car to talk out loud to God. And talk I did.
One of my biggest arguments was my excuse for being sinful. I felt then, and sometimes still do, that I can top most people in the amount of sin I have had in my life. Not that this is a good thing, or some kind of contest. I am just saying that many times I did not live the life I knew I should be.
I didn't want to take the blame for that, so as God is pointing these things out to me, I feel MAD at him (maybe that is due to guilt, huh?) So I childishly point out that when he points the finger at me, three are pointing back at him. So nanny nanny boo boo.
Seriously, I would question Him. If He wanted me to be a better person, why did He create me to be such a bad un?. Why did He allow all the temptations to come my way? Why didn't He make me stronger to resist it? Why did He put me in the circumstances of my life that I hated, because if I had been living my ideal life it wouldn't be so hard to resist sin.
Here is an important thing. I talked to God. I talked, and talked and talked for hours. You know what was missing from that conversation? LISTENING.
Sometimes in prayer, you need to be quiet. The problem was, I didn't want to hear His words. I wanted a way to justify my actions.
My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5
I was not seeking wisdom. I was spending time talking AT God, but I was not regularly attending services, I was not reading scripture, and most of the time when I prayed it was in the car talking AT God.
He was patient. He slowly pointed out these things to me, when He could squeeze a word in. But I had excuses. None of the churches in town were a good fit for me. I was too rushed in the morning and too tired at night to read a boring old Book. He was such a patient Father, to such a naughty and mouthy child.
So what changed? My method of prayer for one thing. I began to stop looking for excuses and look for real understanding.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Spiritual growth can be a slow process, I did not move from the toddler stage to the pre-schooler stage quickly. I began regular church attendance and I have a home church in each of the towns I live in during the year. My favorite is Dunbar First Church of God, but I love Pastor Grupp in ND also.
I spend a LOT more time in prayer, and a large portion of that is praying for others.
Reading Scripture.....I will be honest. I am lacking here. I am not a morning person. Oh, do you hear those excuses rolling out?
So am I a better sin free perfect person? (Pause here, while we all have a good loud laugh) Absolutely not. ABSOLUTELY NOT. As a pre-schooler in Christ, I am learning that the Holy Spirit can prompt you as you enter those danger zones. That part of growth is learning to hear the Holy Spirit. And heed Him.
My good friends, I pray for you and hope you will pray for me during this journey we share.
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