Father's Day
On Father's Day, particularly on Facebook we see many heartwarming pictures and stories. Then there are those of us who are silent. Those whose fathers died before we were old enough to have memories, who opted out, or just didn't leave any good memories.
My father died this past fall in October. I wish I could say I was grief stricken. Unfortunately I was only mildly sad. I did feel bad for his mate of many years, Ruth and her family. They loved him and became his family. I am grateful that he had that.
I realized that I know almost nothing about him on an intimate level. Did he hang a robe on the bathroom door? Colgate or Crest? What was his favorite color, or season, or food, or sport? Chocolate or vanilla cake? None of the things you know about people by years of close association.
So whose fault is it? Sadly, neither of ours. Society in 1959 took a dim view of divorce, at least in our part of the world. It was very rare. Mothers would get custody...period. There was no co-parenting, no mandatory visitation, no shared custody. Mostly the man was cut loose to find a new life and the woman was shamed for not being good enough as a wife. I heard many whispered conversations, "Patty's parents - they are divorced you know."
I have a few pictures. My dad, so young and handsome, not too long out of the military, holding me with a proud smile on his face.
I know at one time he loved me and I loved him but we never had a chance to grow that love, We did reconnect when I was in my late 30's but the damage had been done. We were strangers having tentative conversations.
Father's Day is a sad day for many of us, for many reasons. I look forward to that day in Heaven when we can connect as children of our Heavenly father. I will ask him then, chocolate or vanilla?
My father died this past fall in October. I wish I could say I was grief stricken. Unfortunately I was only mildly sad. I did feel bad for his mate of many years, Ruth and her family. They loved him and became his family. I am grateful that he had that.
I realized that I know almost nothing about him on an intimate level. Did he hang a robe on the bathroom door? Colgate or Crest? What was his favorite color, or season, or food, or sport? Chocolate or vanilla cake? None of the things you know about people by years of close association.
So whose fault is it? Sadly, neither of ours. Society in 1959 took a dim view of divorce, at least in our part of the world. It was very rare. Mothers would get custody...period. There was no co-parenting, no mandatory visitation, no shared custody. Mostly the man was cut loose to find a new life and the woman was shamed for not being good enough as a wife. I heard many whispered conversations, "Patty's parents - they are divorced you know."
I have a few pictures. My dad, so young and handsome, not too long out of the military, holding me with a proud smile on his face.
I know at one time he loved me and I loved him but we never had a chance to grow that love, We did reconnect when I was in my late 30's but the damage had been done. We were strangers having tentative conversations.
Father's Day is a sad day for many of us, for many reasons. I look forward to that day in Heaven when we can connect as children of our Heavenly father. I will ask him then, chocolate or vanilla?
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